To say I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the impending arrival of my daughter would be an understatement.
If I’m honest it’s the only thing that has been on my mind since the day the Midwife broke the news to us that it was a girl we were expecting. now most of the time these thoughts don’t interfere with the normal running of the family home. Today however they did, in near spectacular fashion.
I was driving the boys and herself home from school. It’s a fairly straight road that doesn’t require too much concentration. So I found my mind wandering to the new arrival. The thought that entered my head. What do I say to my six-year-old son, when he asks “Where’s her willy Daddy!” Well I nearly crashed the car. Only the sound of horns blowing and herself shouting, made me realise I had drifted across the road and into the oncoming traffic. I blamed glare from the sun on a dirty windscreen.
It did make me wonder though, what do I tell him? His brothers are 10 and 11, so well aware of the difference between girls and boys. He however is blessed with the mind of a 6-year-old. Blissfully unaware that down below we are different.
It’s not so much the answer to that question that has me all flustered. That is easy. “She is a girl, they don’t have willies.” It’s the next question, and subsequently the same one I will have to explain to her in reverse.
“What does she have Daddy?”
Do I say a lady bum? No No? Fanny? Front Bum?or do I go scientific and use the proper biological term Vagina the list is endless, but which to use? I cannot get away with it, as I know herself will say. “He’s your son, you tell him!”
Oh the mind boggles.. Why oh why could it not be another boy!
Then there’s swimming trips. Herself doesn’t swim. Do I leave her waiting locked in one cubicle next to me whilst I get changed and then dress her? Do I try the Olympic sport of Getting Dressed with a Towel Wrapped Round Me? Do I make her face the wall and jump into my clothes as quick as possible?
Oh no another headache coming on. Well thankfully we made it home safely. One Direction CD purchased so that the sound of Three off-key boys singing “Everybody wants to steal my girl” makes it impossible to think about anything else, means the mind won’t wander on school runs any more.
I’m off to lie down. Any suggestions for this situation will be gratefully accepted.