School Run Section Added to Theory Test


Police and Road Safety Campaigners today welcomed the news from the Department of Transport that as from December 1st this year all drivers will be required to pass the new School Run Section of the Theory Test.

This news comes  as commuters and parents get ready for the hell that is Back to School!

A spokesperson for the department said

After consultation with insurers, the police and school boards we feel the new section added to the Theory Test will make the roads safer at school run times. Both for drivers and pedestrians.

At this time exact details of the questions that will be asked were unavailable. We  were able to gain an insight into the sort of questions that will be included.

For example

  • What do you do if Little Johnny announces he forgot his lunch box 2 minutes from the school gates?
  • A) Make a u turn and return home for the lunchbox.
  • B) Curse and tell him you will drop it into reception at break time.
  • C) Perform an emergency stop outside the Spar, turn on your hazard warning lights and run in to buy a roll and drink. Hoping the lights don’t change before you are finished!

  • What do you do if Little Rose informs you she has homework due, that hasn’t been done yet!
  • A) Curse and tell her to do it now!
  • B) Get a notebook and pen and write a note to the teacher whilst crawling in traffic, stating there was a family emergency and no time for homework.
  • C) Ask her what are the questions and call out the answers.

In line with the new section of the Theory Test there are also a number of new penalty point offences being introduced.

Some of the new offences are:

  • Driver getting out of their car to walk their children to the pavement.
  • Using a Range Rover or Jeep for the school run, if you are not a farmer.
  • Talking to other parents out of car windows whilst in traffic.
  • Ignoring horn beeping of other motorists whilst doing any of the above.
  • Using a handsfree kit that is so loud it causes waiting parents to check their phones aren’t ringing.

A spokesman for the Police defended the new offences, saying there were not a money making exercise. Research has shown that these offences lead to delays and road rage costing the economy millions in insurance payouts and employee lateness.

Next week we will be talking to commuters and parents about these changes and how it will affect them.

In other news a German Discount store has announced it will be launching a full school uniform for 20 pence!!

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