Does Brexit Mean I Have to Meet my Natural Father? 

Regular readers will know I spent time in an Orphanage and was then adopted. I’ve met my birth mother but due to Brexit I am contemplating if I should meet my Dad.

Does Brexit mean I will have to meet my natural father?

Meeting Mammy

Growing up I had no real desire to find my birth Mother and meet her.

The explanation from Social Workers as to the circumstances leading to my Sister and I being placed in an Orphanage lay the blame firmly at her door.

For this reason I always said I’d prefer to meet Dad given the choice.

As with most of my life, finding Mammy was something I had nothing to do with.

Having met her I am none the wiser as to the full circumstances surrounding the events leading to me being in care.

She has passed away now. So even if she wanted to tell me the truth that ship has long sailed.

Dad

I’ve spoken briefly to Aunts on my Father’s side.

Neither of whom has anything positive to say about my Mother. Quite the opposite!

With the amount of time that has passed any real or perceived transgressions have been multiplied and bitterness has festered.

My Sister spoke briefly to Dad once.

He was tearful and has a thick Irish accent so she was unable to understand much of what he said.

A large part of his family still live in Co. Mayo. He hasn’t visited for a good number of years and it appears is unlikely to do so again.

As a child we were told that Mammy had left us with Daddy and returned to Ireland with our Older brother.

He was unable to work and care for us so made the decision to put us up for Adoption.

Being a parent myself now there is nothing I wouldn’t do to stay in my children’s lives.

What Next

I’ve often said I would like to meet my Dad.

As time has gone on I’ve come to realise the only reason is to ask questions.

What actually happened?

Why did you put us up for adoption?

Why didn’t your sisters who are so bitter to my Mother step up and help?

But that is the sole reason. I’ve no desire for regular contact.

My adopted parents are wonderful Grandparents. Birthdays, Christmas, even Halloween and St. Patrick’s day don’t pass without a card for their grandchildren.

I’m well used to answering Dr’s questions about family medical history with “I’m adopted”

Brexit

I’m sure everyone is well aware of the shambles that is Brexit.

With Mrs OMG and all the children being Irish citizens I am the only one with a UK passport.

Not an issue in a pre Brexit world. Post Brexit we are still unsure as to the exact issues that may arise.

Freedom of travel will certainly go at some point.

We’ve been told that ex-pats won’t be affected and can continue to remain in whatever country they have settled.

It does mean we are pretty much left with two choices in the future. Stay where we are or move back to the UK.

Dreams of retiring to a sunny Greek island evaporated when my stepson was diagnosed with Autisim and I became his carer.

So I was pretty certain I’d be staying in Ireland for good. Always nice to have the option though.

Having lived in Ireland for 13 years now I qualify for Citizenship. The cost is slightly prohibitive.

€175 application fee and €950 certification fee.

I am eligible for an Irish passport through my parents.

There is one small issue. Mammy used a Fictional surname on my birth certificate.

This means I need my Dads birth cert.

Not knowing enough of his details I cannot go and apply.

I also wouldn’t feel right asking one of my cousins I’ve chatted to on Facebook but never met.

Is it right to meet just so I can get an Irish passport?

7 thoughts on “Does Brexit Mean I Have to Meet my Natural Father? 

  1. Brexit sure has a lot to answer for, but so do birth parents! IMO (as an adoptive parent) you do what you need to do to get where you need to be!

    Hope there is a good outcome for you! Will be following to find out 😃
    #blogcrush

  2. Imagine a few options and go with the one that leaves you feeling best. I reached out to my biological dad – and got as far as his brother – then retreated as I learnt my story and realised I was a secret. Be prepared. I was shaken for a while, but in the end, I’m glad I know the truth after nearly 50 years. xx

  3. That’s an interesting situation but what if you have absolutely no idea who your parents where? How would that play into citizenship? Isn’t there another way to apply?

  4. Tough one. I think sometimes our first reaction usually ends up being the best. Its hard sometimes when too much thought is put into a decision and then the moment passes. I say that as someone who usually is guilty of that. Lot of different emotions at play here, I wish you the best man #thatfridaylinky

  5. Yes, of course, it’s right! If you want your passport then get daddy’s birth cert. If you want to ask questions, do and if not then don’t. It’s great you have good adopted parents who are involved in your kids lives. It’s clear the hurt you had and still have about being adopted, and I know this decision would be a big one to make. Ironically, I just published my blog post about becoming a citizen yesterday. It is expensive but there’s a great feeling of security and contentment that comes with having that official piece of paper. Best of luck with your decision. And thanks for joining us at #BloggerClubUK 🙂

  6. Such a tough decision to make. Obviously I don’t know all the details, but it seems fair that you should be able to make contact just to get the birth certificate details – he chose to walk away and hasn’t made contact even though there have been opportunities so you don’t owe him. This would purely be a business call.

    Having said that, I know it’s not clear cut at all and there will always be emotional issues and baggage to negotiate, however business-like you try to frame it.

    (also just to let you know – someone added this post to BlogCrush for you sp feel free to pop over and grab your “I’ve been featured” blog badge if you’d like it) #blogcrush

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