I had what can only be called an epiphany last night. Probably not quite as dramatic as Saul on the road to Damascus, but as equally enlightening. I want my son, stepsons and daughter to know they are all equal.
The youngest, Buddy, must be sensing the imminent arrival of his baby sister and has gone off the idea of being a big boy in his own room. Announced that he will sleep with us.
A compromise was reached. Him, Mrs OMG and I would watch a DVD and then off to his bed.
Plan worked a treat, 20 minutes into Lazy Town he was fast asleep. 10 minutes later he was in his own bed.
I went downstairs and let the dog out, whilst standing at the back door watching her with a packet of digestives in hand. ( This is the only thing that will get her back inside, before she goes running through the swamp that is my backyard)
It suddenly hit me. I know some of the reason why I’m so scared of having a girl.
Growing up there was just my younger Sister and I. We got on fine, but I can remember numerous times being told. “She’s only a girl!” “You’re the eldest and a boy don’t be doing that!”
I don’t want to be saying that all the time to my boys. Its bad enough I find myself sounding like my mother. “I’ll give you a reason to cry” “Socks don’t belong on the floor”
My Sister and I got up to shenanigans together, but it was always my fault! I was the boy! We weren’t equal in the blame stakes.
Maybe another thing could be because the boys are real boys. Rough and tumble, wrestling, jumping off the furniture, hurling and soccer. I wake up in sweats with visions of my little girl wearing a princess dress leaping off the couch doing an elbow slam into her brothers back.
I couldn’t do anything with my sister. Bike riding together was as tough as it got for us.
I don’t want to be seen favouring my daughter, I have a great relationship with Buddy. I don’t want that spoiled.
Another headache coming on. I wonder if I can get Panadol to sponsor this blog.
I need to lie down!
Do I Treat Them Equal
Post edited 12/08/2018
Well as the picture and post it links to will show. I’ve a new found understanding of gender stereotypes. I’m also aware that in many ways boys are stereotyped negatively too.
Buddy is a sweet sensitive boy. Prone to tears when he is frustrated, angry or upset.
I’ve often corrected Mrs OMG and his older brothers for saying “Stop crying your a boy!” Boys have equal amounts of emotion as girls. Why should they suppress some of them that are deemed un-masculine?
One thing I’ve managed to never say to any of the boys is.
“Yes, but she’s a girl” when referring to their sister and something she may have done that they are corrected for. Or something they are doing in front of her that I don’t think is appropriate for her age.
I’ve always managed to say “Not in front of your Sister she’s only a toddler” or “I know she is sitting in front of the t.v watching Paw Patrol whilst eating, but she’s only three!”
Hopefully I will be able to maintain this distinction as they all grow older. They are after all equal based on gender, but she will always be behind them in the age stakes.
- So that Little Miss OMG doesn’t grow thinking she can get away with things because she is a girl
- The boys won’t get the impression that they are held responsible for things there Sister does, purely because she is a girl.
I’ve also never liked the “You don’t hit girls.” statement. In my book its a no hitting rule. Be they male or female. Showing boys that they can hit one another but not girls is another outdated ideal that should be done away with.