I never took to being adopted very well. There was always something at the back of my head wondering about the selection process.
I make a little joke every now and then saying my parents wanted to adopt a pretty little girl, and the social workers threw in the 5 year old freckled redhead as an extra. They do say many a true word spoken in jest. Maybe deep down this is what I really believed. I’ve never asked them why they chose us. I probably never will.
I’m not one for talking much. Well I say that, what I really mean is. I’m not one for talking about feelings much. I’ll tell anyone my adoption story, and when they say “oh that must have been hard” I’ll shrug I of with a, “Ah sure what can I do, other kids had it worse.”
I never liked the whole idea I was “chosen” People say I should feel special and wanted, as they chose me. I don’t see it that way. I wrote before about how the advances in science are at a point where parents could choose sex, eye colour and other characteristics of their child here
To me it seems akin to buying a puppy. You look at the pictures and some you like the look off. A bit more of a detailed look into the backgrounds and a few more are crossed off the potentials list. Then finally you narrow them down some more and then go see the chosen one/s.
What goes through someone’s mind as they scroll through the pictures? Aw look at his lovely red hair. Oh he has green eyes. He looks a bit like you. Then the negative, oh he’s 5 we were hoping for a younger child. There are two of them! He’s a ginger!
Don’t get me wrong I am grateful to my adoptive parents, if they hadn’t adopted my sister and I, we probably would have ended up spending our formative years in care and would probably be drug addicts, alcoholics and or in prison.
I still can’t shake that feeling that I was “bought” I know the days of children born to unmarried mother’s being sold. Were over by the time I was adopted but I still have that feeling. Let’s face it I’m sure the orphanage were glad another two were gone. After all it’s two less mouths to feed and children to clothe.
I’d love to hear from adoptive parents their point of view. Leave a comment.