Baby Talk

There are some things in life that we have an irrational dislike for. Well dislike is not a strong enough word, detest or hate with a passion, would be more accurate.

I hate noisy eaters, noisy breathers and BABY TALKERS.

I witnessed a scene today in Tesco that took me back to when Little Miss OMG was a baby in a pram. 

A mother was there pushing her baby around the shop picking up a few bits of shoping. Completely uninvited an Auld One went over leaned over the pram and started babbling to the baby. The mother just stood thee gobsmacked! A Baby talker in action.

I had this all the time with Little Miss OMG. The complete random stranger who sees me and Little Miss OMG in her pram, we are killing time looking in the window of the Car phone Warehouse store, lusting after a Galaxy S7, whilst Mrs OMG buys cleaning sprays, disinfectant and a new mop or other such items to feed her cleaning addiction.

They stroll over, without so much as a word of introduction, maybe asking me for permission or even just small talk. Stick their head into the pram and go Coochie Coochie Coo. WTF gives them the right to breathe their germs over my child and say such utter shite. I know she’s a little stunner, but come on.

Would they like it if  whilst they were sat in McDonalds eating, and I strolled over and took a chicken nuggett from their box? No they wouldn’t!

Anyway what does Coochie Coochie Coo mean? Have they not talk mastered the English language yet? Can they not talk properly to her? I do! Her mother does! Her brothers, well not so much, but they are only children. These people are in their forties or older. 

Now I know studies have shown that Baby Talk does nothing to slow down a babies ability to talk or affect their language developement. But please, is it really necessary to say “Whose a pwetty gurl?” You’re not Tweety Pie.

My cause wasn’t  helped by the fact that Little Miss OMG used to smile, laugh and poke her tongue. Which just encouraged them to ramble some more rubbish at her.

I tried to find a portable, remote controlled speaker that could be put into the pram and at the push of a button it says Coochie Coochie Coo my ass!

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